What men don't get

I'll probably be told to delete this post. Chances are that I'll regret putting this up somehow, but put it up I will... for now. That's because, right now, I need to say something and here is the only medium...

I am married to a man who I'd have described as a good man, but right now, I am not in the mood to do that, so I won't bother to describe him now. Not today.

This post is not based on any theory, just my thoughts, my thoughts right now.

To the men;

1. I understand that its ok for women to rub your ego's and treat you like kings at all times.

We apologize when we go wrong, or when we err. How hard can it be for you to apologize? A simple apology can do a lot. Avoid wars, mend walls, heal wounds. But your pride always gets in the way, doesn't it? Just so you know..."Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.." You really don't want to see the fury a scorned woman can unleash. Seriously.

2. Its alright to make promises.

Promises you have no intention of keeping. "We will have date nights every week", "we will have hotel weekends every once in a while", "I'll treat you right", "we will...", "I will..." and on and on the list goes, then you get married, and the poor chick is hit with reality. She thinks she married the wrong dude cuz he's body is the same but his attitude says something else. She thought she married prince charming, but realizes a lil too late that he's actually Sherlock. Dude, you will have broken her heart and created a monster and not even realize it. Then you wonder why she has "suddenly changed" and you begin to complain.

3. Wooing a woman is like a project.

You just have to reach the "project completion" stage then you sit back in satisfaction. You do all it takes to make sure you get the chick. You take your time, wine and dine with her at all times, spoil her silly till she forgets every single evil done to her by other men in her dating history. You make sure that even in a coma, she can identify you as the love of her life. Then when she agrees to marry you, your enter "stage 2". You get busy preparing for the wedding. A different side of you surfaces, but she is too busy preparing and planning to notice. When she notices, she remembers why she loves you and thinks its probably the stress getting to you. And she ignores the red flag. She attributes it to the stress of planning. "After all, everyone says we will fight during this stage"
Then the marriage occurs. Project has been completed.
Bam!!! You move on to the next project. That can be anything, maybe acquiring a house, or whatever grabs your fantasy.
What happens to the time you invested in that relationship? If you are not careful, a stranger will live in the nest you created!!! A word is enough for the wise.

4. Mummy's boy

A woman married a man and not a boy. So get that into your head!!!
If she wanted to marry a boy, she might as well have married the 17 year old hunk who always hit on her in her hood. But she chose you, and yet you make her wonder if she "didn't know any better".
Why do you keep running to your mum for advice? Did she marry your mum?
Not saying there is anything wrong in motherly advice, but if you keep doing that all the time, then you are using your own hands to dissolve each cement block you have both built over time.
Be a man!!! Make your own decisions (with your wife's input of course). Live with he responsibility of the consequences of your own actions, no matter how it turns out. Its your home!
Enough said.

5. Bully

You realized that your wife is not as strong as you in every sense of it and you use that to your advantage.
Apparently, you were picked on by the boys while growing up. You had no one, not even your kid brother, to pour out your frustrations on, so you decided to live out the memories on your poor wife whom you declared to love.
No, you don't beat her, you are more than that. What you do is just to ruffle her feathers. You show her who is boss by your words... and actions.
You are an emotional bully. Your words to her burn hotter than the "Miago pepper", your actions scald hotter than heated oil. The words you don't speak sear her soul and drive the knife deeper and deeper. She is a shadow of her former boisterous self. She lives constantly in the fear of your venom.
My advice to you? Pick on someone your own size. When she hits her back to the wall and sees there isn't any more room, I assure you she will bounce back. But don't wait for that time... A mad woman is capable of anything at all, and trust me, it won't be pretty!

I best be on my way now... I have said all I wanted to say.

To the women, don't think you have actually escaped yet...

Many apologies for the "cobwebs" on my blog. I'll hide under the excuse of "work" this time.

Questioning God, Insecticide drama and kindness

Hello lovely people. Its FRIDAYYYYYYYY! Such a big relief.

Thankfully there are no cobwebs this time...ok, just a musty smell. BUT I have been around, Been reading some blogs so I know a few things that have happened to some people. Its great to know that those who underwent surgery have recovered or are recovering, happy birthday in arrears to Myne. I have been reading some powerful episodes from Itunes, you gotta check it out.

I also discovered some new blogs and the bloggers (sweets, sleeick and much more)  have a witty sense of style that has you rolling on the floor, or craving for more.

I hope all the bloggers in the US are safe? I have been praying for you and I know it will be well with all your families.

I also want to say thank you to my new followers, I hope you enjoy the ride!!! 

Happy Sallah to all the Muslim faithfuls. So sorry this is coming late, but hey, better late than never, no?

Ok, I just had a strong desire to show face here. Why, I don't know, because I don't even know what to write. I am at a stage where things are spiralling out of my control. This is not so good as I like to be in charge of situations. But I do know that there is light at the end of whatever this is. I get worried at times, you know, ask (God) questions and all that. Sometimes I ask him if He is sure of what He is doing. Have you ever been in that situation? Its like am saying er..God, have you seen where this is leading? Don't you think you'll make a mess of it? But then I remember that He is GOD! Who else is capable of knowing the end from the beginning? Whenever I begin to feel that way, I feel Him smile at me and then I get this assurance that everything is going to be alright. somehow. Just because He is God.

Some of you may have seen it on twitter, so let me just put it here. A few Sunday's ago, I was running late for Church service, and T was already waiting for me in the car (I think he does it to make me feel guilty), so I was trying to be really fast. I was at my dresser, and I didn't even look up, I just grabbed a can and started spraying my hair. I sprayed the front then proceeded to spray the back of my hair and the centre in a very fast circular motion. As we do with hair sprays (ladies), I sprayed and sprayed without pausing until I started smelling something different. It wasn't the usual smell of my hairspray. I was horrified, and kept saying "no, no, no, no, no..." all the while my eyes were closed and I brought the bottle to my face, opened my eyes and ...you guessed it. INSECTICIDE!

I almost passed out OMG! I had sprayed insecticide very generously on my hair. How was I going to sit in church? Who would even sit beside me? I didn't even realize I screamed until my hubby asked me what happened and I told him. Guess what the dude did, he laughed and took a step backwards. Lol! Anyway although I was tempted to just not go to church, I did. I picked up the the real hair spray, sprayed a massive amount of it on my hair to camoflauge the insecticide then I went for service. On my way there I told myself that the smell will dissipate gradully, just like it does when you spray your room. However after service (and after jests by many of my friends) I was advised  (by 2 special friends who happen to be namesakes and do not know themselves ) to wash it off my hair real quick, or it would make my hair fall out. Huh? Fall out ke? I rinsed the hair with a whole bucket of water, used my bath gel to scrub it, followed up with my entire bottle of shampoo and finally used my bathing soap for good measure. By the time I finished, my hair was squeaky. Lol!

On another random note, there is this old horologist (Ok, I exaggerate, he is just an old dude that fixes watches) down the road where I work. Everyday after a hard day at work and on my way home, I'll stop to greet him. (I just feel the dude should be retired and enjoying the benefits of his labour as a youth). At first the dude was surprised that I greeted him. He thought I needed my watch fixed, but I just smiled at him. Everyday I greeted him and he would look at me bashfully. Gradually, I noticed that whenever I approached his work area, he would stop whatever he was doing to greet me and ask how my day went. Yesterday, I was so engrossed, and I wasn't looking his way. He called out to me. I was pleasantly surprised. He noted that I had closed earlier than usual and asked if all was well. I just felt very happy, like finally, he had gained confidence in "our friendship" and I had drawn him out of his shell. lol!

I though I said I didn't have anything to write about? *shrug*

Have a great weekend people and don't forget to do something good to someone and for someone.

xoxo

"Distrated"

Permit me to use this new word coined from Disappointed and Frustrated. Thank you.

And no, I don't feel this way right now at all. Far from it. On the contrary I am on a high. *wink*

Ok. I promised to do a post on my jewellery project, but I'll still get to do it. This story has been pushing itself to me since yesterday and share it I must.

There was a Retreat for some of my colleagues  in May, and I was to be a part of it. Notice for the Retreat was rather short and it actually conflicted with my brother-in-Law's (BIL) wedding. Well, the retreat was in Benin for Tuesday to Friday, and the wedding was in Kwara State for Friday and Saturday. This meant I had to pack a suitcase for the 2 events, right?

Well, my MIL had graciously sent me the fabrics (Aso-ebi) for the Traditional and Church wedding, and I still hadn't found a tailor to help me make something really nice. (I wanted to dress to impress my would be in-laws). AS time was running out, I ditched the idea of creating a buzz with my dresses and started looking for someone who could just make something presentable. It would have been bad if I had turned up for the wedding wearing something different considering that my MIL particularly sent me the clothes.

My pipu, I found a tail (No, its not a mistake, I just can't add the "or" to it). She really didn't mess up my clothes like that but she showed me real pepper. As I had gotten desperate, I suddenly remembered my hair stylist who said she had a tailor that made good dresses and her shop was in the Estate. I searched through my phone book and saw her contact. I called and we fixed an appointment for the next day. 

I took the fabrics to her and chose the style I wanted. Mind you, this was 3 days to my trip and she assured me it would be ready on Saturday. This was on Wednesday. I called her Saturday morning and she asked me to come in the evening.  I went to her shop in the evening and my cloth "neva ready". She told me her son was ill and all that and that she will spend the night to ensure it was ready by Sunday. Automatically, my plans for Sunday had been rescheduled. she however turned the lace material into a skirt and blouse, not escatly what I asked for but still ok. She however decided to show my boobs to the whole world. The front was so low, I wondered if it was my measurement she used. 

First thing Sunday morning, I called her and she said there was no light, I knew I was in trouble. When I got to her shop, she had just finished cutting it up. I sat with her as she was sewing. Meanwhile, I had a marriage  counselling class to attend by 1pm at Igando, and I was at Ikoyi. By 11 am, my husband called to find out where I was and what my plans were. I told him I'd be leaving in 30 mins time. I tried the dress on and saw that it was wayyyyyy toooo short. and tight. It just made me look very very cheap. I asked her if it was my measurement she used and this "tail"  (remember, no "or") told me the fabric wasn't enough so she just cut it like that. Ahhhh! My boo called again and told me to let him know when I was leaving her shop.

She was still working on it by 12:45 when I snatched my dress and left the shop. As soon as I stepped out of the shop, I started crying. I was sooooooooooooooooooooooo frustrated. I didn't like the clothes, they were just to tight on me. They were not what I wanted and I had wasted my time. And she even charged me for "express" on top of everything. Arghhh!!!

My concern at that point was to get to Igando. How was I to get to Igando from Ikoyi, when my father doesn't own Lagos roads? I just kept walking and crying.  My husband called me to find out where I was, and I told him I will be quite late but he should please explain to the pastor. At first they were silent tears, just my heart was crying. Then my eyes decided to show solidarity and started shedding tears. By the time the bike dropped me at Obalende, I was heaving. My boo asked me where I was and I told him I was at obalende, that he should please give me some time to met him. When I got to the Taxi park at Obalende, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't talk, I was just sobbing. The taxi men were afraid (probably thinking I had just heard bad news). On a normal day, I am what you call an "alaroro" I don't dash people money like that ooo. But I just didn't have it in me to price. When the can guy said N5,000, I managed to say i'll pay you N4,000. On a normal day, i'll had gone down to N3,000. He just said I should enter and started shouting to another cab guy that had blocked him that it was an emergency  It must have been a sight indeed, someone as big as me crying like a baby that they had taken a toy from. I didn't care who saw me. I was just inconsolable. 

As we made to leave the park, my boo called again and I told him I just got a taxi and was leaving Obalende. He said I shouldn't go with the Taxi as he was in front of my house. The tears went up another notch. I got down, thanked the cab guy and started making my way back towards my estate. By this time, people were staring openly at me, and I ws doing all the crying I had never done in my life. The funny thing is I didn't for once think about what I was doing. I was just so frustrated. I was late (AGAIN), had wasted my boo's time, and I was probably going to miss counselling (Again) and I hated the outcome of the clothes.

I met my boo halfway and when I saw the concern in his eyes, the tears flowed fast. He was so scared, he thought I had lost a family member (God forbid). He stopped in the middle of the road and refused to move until I told him no one died. The he asked me what happened to make me cry like that. I honestly had no answer for him and I finally said the "tailor spoilt my dress". He had this incredulous look on his face, like "is that why you are crying"? 

Anyway, he calmed me down (like only him can *wink*), we called the pastor to cancel the class (with apologies) and we just hung out. Then he calmly asked me if I realized the picture I painted while crying like a child and if I realized I was going to be the mother of  his children. It was at that point I felt ashamed.

When I shared the story with my mum later that night, she was actually rolling on the floor and had tears rolling down her eyes. SHe found it so funny, meanwhile, as I was narrating it to her, I started crying again. It really pained me shaaa.

Anyway, I passed by Obalende yesterday and I remembered this story and thought to share. 

All of it...

Hello lovely people of blogsville!!!

I hope you missed me half as much as I missed you? :) I am seriously clearing cobwebs, spiders, bats and all from this blog. 

So I am married now shaaaaaa...after what, 3 years of dating this guy? God has been faithful, that the only thing I can say. I really want to thank you for all the congratulatory messages, tweets, love and all. God bless you all. You know you and you know I know you too. lol!

Thanks a lot for still sticking to this blog, It honestly means a lot to me. To all my new followers, I appreciate you too!

Ha, I went to the moon to "drink honey", and I am back to reality real time. Its been like 2 years since I took a break from work, and it was a beautiful experience (the honeymoon and the break from work) I tell you. Not that I haven't been entitled to a break, but I always tie them down to events, exams and what not, so I haven't really rested per say.

I fear I have so much to say that I don't even know what to say any more...I'm getting dry jare.

Sometimes I just sit by myself and smile. I remember one thing or the other and just smile...Almost all the married people I know are giving me advice. All sorts of advice. I have heard all sorts of things believe me, from the bedroom, to church, to the kitchen, to going out...

I guess I am adjusting well to the whole "married" thingy.  So far it has been sweet, and I know it will continue to be in Jesus name.

Enough of the "me me" talk, I just heard today that a friend (former actually) has put to bed. I am really excited for her. I know you are wondering why I said "former"? The thing is we used to be close, then something happened, and I just couldn't deal with it. I withdrew and I failed to let her know what the problem was. I just shrunk back, and she tried to reach out but i just couldn't continue. Looking back now, I realize I did her a great injustice. Believe me, I have tried to fix it, but I guess its too much water under the bridge right now. I was so immature shaaaaa.

I hope this fuel scarcity is just a hoax ooo, because people suffer enough without adding all that nonsense to it. imagine queuing up for fuel, the attendant traffic and the general suffering.

I hope the issue of the N5,000 note hasn't been over flogged yet? (I haven't done my blog rounds in a loonnnngggg time) I honestly think we have made a big mistake, and rather than correct it, we are trying to bury our heads in the sand like the ostrich. I really don't think it is the solution to any problem in Nigeria. Fancy loosing a N5,000 note. Mehn, that won't be funny at all.

On a more serious note, there will be too much money in circulation, the value of the Naira will fall, and things will just keep getting more expensive, cost of living will sky rocket, and people will just have to find a means to survive. 

have you ever considered that the level of crime only increases with each passing generation? Remember the youths of today don't want to "work" but want to scam their way to get rich at all costs. If things get tougher than they already are, I believe it will just "legalize" crime in Nigeria.

Ok, I really need to go now. 

Ciao!

The 30 Day Challenge- Day 14: What I Wore today

I don't even know how to start.

I remember the last time I was "gingered" to complete this 30 Day challenge thingy. I honestly don't know what happened to all that fuel. I guess someone "stole" it. Lol.

Now, I will be realistic and not make any rash promises. One day one day sha, I'll cross the finish line.

Ok, the look of today.

I woke up this morning without any thought of what I'll wear, and since my office is not so firm about dressing, I just put on whatever I first set my eyes on.

A white shirt, a grey waistcoat, with a grey skirt and black mid heel shoes. Silver and pearl jewellery.

My make-up- Blue Eye shadow with red lipstick.

:)

I looked nice(a bit sober- all my "dull" colours, but very nice)

Been a while

Hello People!

I know, its been such a long time, I feel like a new kid on the block all over again. #ignoring cobwebs

Thanks a lot for the encouragement I received  (Sugarspring, Pricsy, 9ja's great and Che) to come back. I never really left though, just didn't have time any more. SO many things have happened to me and to people around me. I keep making mental notes to blog about stuff, but the time just sleeps away and never comes back. The good thing about the hiatus is that I made some fantastic friends.

Let me start with my wedding. No, relax, it hasn't happened yet...just a few more days though. I am t.i.r.e.d! Very tired. I go to bed exhausted and wake up in a fog. Someone has been doing the countdown for me -one in my office, (thanks Dr. A)  and the other has been doing it on BB every single day (thanks V), and its just about 8 days left. I am excited. I feel odd. scared. I feel normal and excited all over again. I want the dates to come and get over with it. I know my life is about to change...but by how much, I do not know, and what I don't know scares me. somewhat. But one thing I know is that I will enjoy being married to my husband and he will enjoy being married to me.  

Yesterday some of my aunties came over to stay at our house till the wedding. When I saw all the stuff they brought, it hit me hard that I was as good as gone.

Speaking of "gone", we got married at the Registry on the 16th, so I can actually lay claim to the fact that I hold an "M.R.S" Degree right now. :D. It went well..just that I was expecting to feel out of the world (I felt "high" when we said our vows) but I was just the same. lol, my new BIL (Brother in Law) said we kissed "SU Kiss". I laughed, which one be "SU Kiss" again?  Where they expecting us to "french"? No way. It felt good to see all the comments, and pictures on BB. Thanks a lot to all of you again. Did you just say pictures? maybe later...

Then came my birthday on Monday (20th). I am thankful for another year!. I however wont say much about my birthday, because it wasn't really it for me. However, what I can tell you is I get a "makeover" and maybe then, I can tell you more about it. (Please bear with me).

I made a new discovery recently, I really don't resent Lagos market like I thought I did. I just discovered that on the 16th. Yes it was the day of the Registry. I escaped to the market. I needed to reflect, and I needed to be distracted at the same time. It sounds odd, I know, but I needed to sort out my feelings about being married and all that...

On a random note, I saw something funny the other day. I have a battered BB, and this driver came to ask me for a favour and he was using an iPhone 4. Wonders will never end. How on earth was I to help him. I just dismissed him instantly. Don't blame me, I just had to get envious at that point, even though I knew he might have bought it second hand or something. Like the day I was in a bus and a beggar was begging for alms and he was drinking La Casera. Haba!!! Somethings or situations are just not right jor.

OK, I have to go now, but I want to use this medium to invite you to my wedding. Please send me a mail if you are in Lagos (or will be on the 30th of August or the 1st of Sept) and I'll forward the details to you.

Cheers!

Pray for Nigeria

Numbers 6:27

So they will put my name on the Israelites, and I will bless them.

2 Chronicles 7:14

If my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from Heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

Jeremiah 29:7

And seek the peace of the city where I have caused you to be carried away captives, and pray to the Lord for it: for in the peace thereof shall you have peace.

This is a call to repentance to each person. We need our land to be healed, but first we must humble ourselves, and seek God. Then turn from our wicked ways.

Please let us remember that God can not be mocked. The Bible tells us that whatever a man sows, that he will reap. Corruption has gone on for decades in Nigeria, but this is a call to all who have chosen to serve God, who are thus called by His name, to cry out to Him. He is a merciful God, and He will hear us. 

We need to cry out to God to stay this plague of destruction, waste and rage and heal our land, cleanse us from all the fury and blood thirst, and make us human again, especially to our fellow brothers and sisters.

Please let us pray for Nigeria. Yesterday I was angry, today I am broken. We need help from above, as no man on earth can help us. 

Dear Lord, We are your children, redeemed by the blood of Jesus, and called by your name. We have come to you broken. We acknowledge that there is no one like you, we declare your awesomeness and know that indeed, no one compares with you.

We cry to you today to please mend the fractures of our land, for your children are afraid. We stand upon you word which says if we pray and seek your face and turn from our wicked ways you will hear us from heaven, forgive our sin and heal our land. We ask for your mercy and that you will indeed heal our land. Your word makes us understand that you will not withhold any good thing from your children who walk uprightly. The same word makes us understand that you will not destroy a nation for the sake of a few of your children who are there.

Heavenly Father, please have mercy on us. Save our land. Lead our leaders aright. Teach us to walk in your precepts. Help us to do the right thing and know that you are watching us always. 

Grant us peace in our hearts and our land, for your word has said that in the peace of the land lies our own peace. 

This we ask in Jesus name. 

Amen!

Causes and Effects. The state of things in Nigeria.

I am really angry about the state of affairs in Nigeria. In all sectors.
This is not a dig to the president in anyway. It is my space, my piece, my rant!

Our President hasn't delivered, he is clueless and is doing nothing about it. Since his ascension to leadership, the land of Nigeria has had no peace. It  has been bloodshed upon bloodshed. Needless bloodshed. Every week, we hear of something we only read about in history books.

Its bombs everywhere, everyday. It is thrown by our fellow Nigerians, at people we once laughed with. At people we grew up with. At family.

There are religious uprisings in clusters in the North. But don't be deceived to think its just the North. Its everywhere. The Muslims are at war with the Christians, and the Christians have refused to be slaughtered like chickens. They have resolved not to turn the other cheek. There is a time for everything they say, a time to make war and a time to make peace. Now is the time for war.

Its a  religious sect, they call them Boko Haram, and they have reigned terror on both Muslims and
Christians alike.

It is the lawless politicians, who do what they want without fear, after all, there is no one to stand up to them.

Its corrupt leadership, there are no checks and balances. If you are caught stealing, its only a matter of time, a moment of shame before the next scape goat comes and you are forgotten. As a matter of fact, you will be celebrated later on, just let the whole brouhaha settle for a while, then you become a hero. 


Death is no longer sacred. (If it ever was), it is now a thing we live with. It no longer comes when one is terminally ill, or old. Now it lurks around bad roads, waiting for the flying coffins called planes to close its icy fist around, waiting to lay claim to people who will surely strike in the name of claiming their rights.
This is what we see everyday. We see, we hear, we smell the deaths too.The smell hovering over our heads, not knowing who will go next. 


We are fast becoming the Egypt, Syria and Libya of 2010 till date, yet we think its no big deal. God forbid you say? I pray against it too, but if we do nothing about it, like we usually do, then that is what will happen. 
Growing up, I learnt the of Cause and effect. There is no escaping it. If something happens there will be a resultant effect. Likewise, if nothing happens, there will still be an effect. Its the law of seed time and harvest. Its LIFE, and there is no escaping it.

We look up to our president, hoping he will indeed be our messiah, but we are disappointed each time. All he does or says is "We condemn the ..." oh please! Even my 2 year old nephew knows the difference between a threat and actual punishment for wrong doing. You keep condemning with you words, when do you actually show that you mean it?.

Will Nigeria be better only after you have lost a family member to a plane crash? 
Or if militants kill your child? 
Will it be better only after a cherished family member is blown to bits? With no body part to be buried with care? Or will you be satisfied to bury a limb? Not knowing for certain if it really belonged to your loved one?

Breadwinners have gone.
Wives and companions have been killed.
Children are orphaned.
Families are engulfed in grief.
Hope has deserted many.

This poem (for lack of a better description) has been playing itself in my head, over and over. Its a child's voice. It is wailing.

"Mama, the earth is no longer brown. Its red and liquid.
Its flowing and carrying people and things with it.
Its rushing towards us.
Mama, the earth is hot and angry.
How do we run from its path?
Nothing can escape.
Mama, what do we do?
We still have so much to live for!!!

When we elected you president, we didn't do so because we wanted someone to occupy the chair, we did so because we thought you were the right candidate for the job. Please have some spine do not let us down.

Little clusters

I have been feeling out of sorts of late, not illness, not depression, just a bit detached from everything. I have no reason to feel this way, things are going well in my life, but there is just this ...thing I can't actually place my hands on. I know it's there, at the back of my mind, but I have decided to leave it there, at the back. I won't give myself headache for something I can't control. Why should I worry? My God is there to deal with it anyway!

Its amazing how far a kind word, thought, deed or prayer will go. In this my "undefined" state, I suddenly saw a notification on my phone, it was a direct message on twitter by @gbemisoke, and she said a word of prayer for me. I can't express how I felt, but it was a word in season. I almost cried when I saw it, and I felt like in the whole universe, God had put a spot light on me.

At the same time, I saw that a friend had changed her DP to my picture and her PM was "Friends are an important part of 1's life: glad I've got my ladies". And I knew that God was just telling me that He had my back no matter what. I know it may sound odd to some of you, but I guess when God relates with each one of us, its weired to the other person, somehow.

I learned more lessons today- 

• When you have  a nudge to do or say something (nice) to someone, don't hesitate for one second. 
• Appreciate your friends. It goes a long way.

I remember my mom always told me that whenever I suddenly thought of someone, I should say a prayer and then communicate with the person. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. ( sometimes I actually feel like I am disturbing some people when I keep in touch. Is it just me?). 

There's this song by Donnie McClurkin (feat. Cece, Yolanda and Mary Mary) that also helped me realize that people should smell flowers when they are alive.

Now I know I'll keep this up, because I just got blessed.

Humble Pie

I ate the humble pie 2 Saturdays ago, and I didn't die like I thought I would.

No, I am not proud, but there are many things I would not take. Way back in Secondary School, some of my seniors used to call me "polietly rude". Now that used to get me in stitches (behind their backs of course, if not, I'm sure I may not have been alive to tell the Story today). How can someone be polite and rude at the same time?

Where was I...? Ahh, the humble pie...

I had to make some beads for a customer, but she didn't like the materials I used. Unfortunately, she didn't mention it to me before I made it, I used crystals and she didn't like the fact that they were shiny. it was when she saw the picture she mentioned it to me. I was flustered. What do I do? I had already spent the money on these beads. Who would I sell them to? By the way, I had spent about 3-4 nights steadfastly on this as I work during the day. I had even told her two weeks, but it was ready before then. 

I took a picture of the beads after I was done and used it as my blackberry Display Picture. She pinged me and asked why I was using her jewelry as her DP, and said she didn't like the beads I used. I got irritated. Was she telling me to ask for permission before I used my "work" as my Dp? We started going backwards and forward with me saying I informed her about using crystals and she saying she didn't know what they were. At the end of the day, I just told her i'd refund her money, and she agreed.

I told my tutor, who gave me a lesson on being more patient and tolerant. I ended up apologizing to my client and telling her i'd make a new jewelry for her, but will send her a picture of the beads before I actually made it. Surprisingly, she said she'll take the ones I had made earlier. I insisted that I could and wanted to make a new one, but she said she was fine with it.

In the end, I sent it to her, and that was the end of the matter.

I learnt a big lesson that day- 

1. The customer is always right because they hold the purse! 
2. If you render services, get ready to take it all- money, insults, praise, criticism. It will never kill you.
3. As the Bible says, a gentle answer really does calm wrath. She just wanted me to apologize, and that was rather hard for me at first, but It didn't take anything out of me. 
4. The Humble pie never kills. Heck, you don't even purge when you eat it sef. Lol

oh, I 'll use this opportunity to mention that I make really nice jewelry. Please holler if you or anyone you know is interested. Thank you.

11

ALERT: Long Post!!!




I got tagged last week by Sugarspring and A-9ja-Great, and Cee for this "tag 11".


I really want to thank them both for this award. To be very honest, I was actually looking forward to getting tagged. And now, I have been tagged. Three times. Lol!


Its a really dynamic tag award, and I particularly love the way the questions change without warning! lol.


The basic rules are:

1. Post 11 random things about yourself
2. Answer questions posted by the person who tagged you
3. Create 11 questions and tag 11 people to answer your questions
4. Notify those tagged of the game
5. Notify the person who tagged you after you have answered the questions
6. No tag backs

N.B- Since I got tagged by 3 people, I'll answer their questions differently. This should be interesting!!!

11...Random things

1. I love God
2. I hate it when people touch me when there is really no need
3. I love to study people. 
4. I am very level headed
5. I am not a very patient person....working seriously on this
6. I make jewelry (www.flickr.com/photos/emaleecious/)
7. I am into interior decorating
8. I love DIY's
9. I am very independent
10. I just started eating Semovita, and i must say its not as bad as I once thought.
11. I just finished the 11 random things about me. Lol

11...Answers (Sugarspring)

1. Who on earth loves you most (apart from God)- Tony
2. If you were to sacrifice your life for someone, who would it be?- My nephews and Niece
3. Have you ever had a crush?- Oh Yes. In secondary school (Chike) and in University (Tunji)
4. What was the naughtiest thing you did as a child? I rubbed evostic (glue) into my cousin's hair like hair cream...she was pretty annoying.
5. If today was your last day on earth, where would you rather be, what would you do and who would you want to spend your last hour with? In a serene place, just talking and listening, with my boo.
6. If you were given a 2nd chance to begin life again, would you rather be someone else or the same you? I'ld be an improved version of me (wink)
7. What are you passionate about in life? 2 things- creativity and helping people.
8. If you were told to sing a solo for someone on the radio, who would it be going out to? All my "ex-friends". I really don't know the reasons some friendships fail, and I miss some of them.
9. if you were told to make a shout out to just ONE person on TV, who would it be going out to? MY MOM. She is incredible!!!
10. Have you ever cried for a friend? and why? Oh yes, I thought I had lost him, and I was wrong.
11. If Jesus was coming today, would you be ready? Its one thing for me to say yes, and another thing for me to actually be ready. I pray and hope I am indeed raptured with Christ!

11...Answers (A-9Ja's-Great)
1. What's the most important attribute you look for in the opposite sex?- kindness
2. What's your passion?- Creativity. A chance to prove myself
3. What would you do if you had a million dollars? Take myself to the Mediterranean for a well deserved vacation, then establish a camp for the destitute where they can be taught life skills.
4. What do you consider you best attribute? My smile and My eyes
5. When did you have your first kiss? When I was born? Lol!
6. Do you prefer someone in suit or casually dressed? Casually dressed
7. What's the best book you ever read? This Present Darkness- Frank Peretti
8. If you had the opportunity to see any influential person,who would it be? Oprah
9. Do you enjoy PDA (Public Display of Affection)? Somewhat
10. Comedy,Romance,Thriller,Drama,which of these best describes the type of movies you like? Romance...I am in love with love.
11. When exactly would you like to get married and start a family? This year




11...Answers (Cee) 

1. What do you do in your spare time? make jewellery
2. What one thing are you most proud of? Jesus
3. What is your ultimate dream vacation? A cruise to the Mediterranean with my boo
4. What are you most looking forward to in the next year? Completing my MBA (I don tire, abeg)
5. Most important thing you are saving up for? To get me some wheels
6. Have you ever rescued someone? what were the circumstances? No, I haven't. Not yet, anyway.
7. Who influenced me the most when you were a child? Omojo, my sister. I copied her a lot.
8. Who influences you the most now? Well, I'm really independent now... I listen to my mom a lot sha. She's soooooo wise. Lol
9. What is the most daring or dangerous thing you've ever done? Scaled a fence.
10. What person in history would you most like to meet? Lee Kuan Yew- We need help in Nigeria.
11. What would you love for your next birthday gift? iphone 5

11...Questions

1. What do you love most about yourself?
2. Who are you in secret?
3. What's your best food?
4. Why do you blog?
5. Where is the one place you are most comfortable in?
6. Who do you call God?
7. do you know God or you know about Him?
8. What drives you?
9. In three words, who is a successful person?
10. what's the kindest thing you have ever done?
11. When you have a lot of money, what the first thought that crosses your mind?

11...Tags

1. Inyamu
2. Che
3. Doris
4. Lara
5. Olamide
6. Olufunke
7. Odd Naija Chic
8. Imisi
9. Dayor
10. Hazel
11. Simply mee
12. Please feel free to tag yourself if you read this post and "go with the flow"

I'll complete tasks 4 and 5 ASAP.
Xoxo

Without Fanfare

Hi,

I put up a new post - Without Fanfare- on Olamsy's blog.  Please visit it by clicking here.

P.s Don't forget to leave your comments and follow him as well.

xoxo

Bored

Isn't it weird that I have a job, and yet I am bored. As a matter of fact, I have 2 jobs, and yet, I can't seem to find any interest in them any more. I wonder what happened?

Once upon a time I used to be very very excited about one of the jobs. It was like the coolest thing after leaving the banking industry. But recently, I seem to get "hungry". Not hungry for food, but hungry to do more. Make no mistake, my desk is always full to capacity with work, I just feel there is a lot I can do that I am not doing. Like I am being underutilized.

To make matters worse, everyone around me (my 2nd job) has gone for a training, and I wasn't included in the list. It makes me wonder...
Anyway, I'm in the office by myself of all the colleagues in my subsidiary group, and I have a dozen and one things to do, and yet I am BORED!!!

My mind is telling me its time to find "food"...wherever that may be!

I need to get back to my newsletter, its long overdue for publication. See y'all later!

Intro and more

Hello People!

Hope you're all doing well? Its going to be a fantastic and blessed week for us all.

So many things happened this weekend. 

We (T and I) had our introduction finally... (some of you know what I mean) and it was a beautiful event. It turned out bigger than I expected with over 50 people from his side, but I thank God. (My mum was prepared to feed a battalion, and the work it took to get all that food ready on Saturday was something else). I am grateful to God for the success of the event, and for the celebration of love, not just between me and T, but also by my family and friends. Special shout out to Deola and Wura for making it. I appreciate you guys.

I honestly can't recount all that happened, but I will share an interesting part with you. 

I was called into the parlor by my dad  (all this while, I was in the room while all their talk was going on) and he asked me to stand in front of everyone and asked T to state if it was me he wanted. T said yes, and my dad turned and told me that T and his people had come to ask for my hand, and he wanted me to say if I wanted to marry him. I said yes. Then he asked me to pick up the tray (with money in it from the centre table  (apparently T had put the money in it before I was called in) and if I agreed to be his wife, I should bring the Tray to him. I went to pick it up, and my mum suddenly screamed, saying why was I rushing to pick up the tray, that I should go slowly jor. Everyone started laughing. Lol...I guess I was just nervous with everyone looking and all, but that helped douse my nervousness. Then I walked slowly to pick it up and knelt to give it to my dad, who asked me to give it to my mum. He said that if she accepted it, then it meant she approved of my choice. I took it to her and knelt before her, she accepted it from me. T was beaming like a "peacock by this time and I had tears in my eyes...

Somehow, with all this going on, I really didn't feel like it was my own intro until we both knelt down for the Pastor to pray for us. By then, I actually started feeling like it was my event.

To other things, T and I went out on Sunday to the beach (Elegushi) and I really enjoyed myself. It was different, somehow, and magical. 

While we were there, I suddenly saw a bum pulling a swollen ram out of the water with his hand. I was surprised. Then the Life guards around dragged the animal somewhere to bury it. I was appalled. The animal was in the water and I know that the same water gets into people's mouth and all.  T said maybe they used it for "sacrifice", because I was wondering want a ram would be looking for at a beach. Needless to say, that was the end of my "play". I just sat very far from the water and "enjoyed the view" from my perch. I think all that "Tax"' they collect at the gate and to park your car should actually be put to good use. The beach should be kept clean and nice jor.

Then we went we went for the Faceoff Celebrity Basket ball show. It was interesting, but I had to leave by 10 because of work. While we were there, the MC was calling the names of celebrities, and he called Annie Macaulay's name shortly after Tuface's name. And i couldn't help asking- what does she do? and someone beside me said- "she makes babies for Tuface. Lol

Wishing you a lovely week ahead!!!

When Love isn't enough

What do you do when you realize that love isn't enough? After all has been said and done, and change still isn't forthcoming? When you drum in some things into the partners head, but the lessons are really hard to stick to? Or the partner just refuses to "learn"?

Do you close your eyes to it all and pretend that they are not there? Or do you voice out your opinion and be regarded as a "nag"? You already know the answer, but ask for people's opinion, and take it when it "favour's" you? 

"Love is patient and kind...it is not self-seeking...keeps no record of wrongs...it always hopes, always perseveres" (1 Cor. 13:4:7- NIV)", you might say. "But I am also human and imperfect" is my own defence.

Love for me is a beautiful thing, but it shouldn't cover up for the basics when they are not in place...love languages shouldn't be ignored, and individual feelings should be considered and respected.

I strongly believe that every one is significant and should be celebrated in a way that makes them feel appreciated and loved in return.

I 'm sorry if this comes out as jumbled, but I truly can't say more than this now.

They say "a word is enough for the wise", I hope the "wise" are reading this and have gotten "the word".

The 30 Day Challenge: Day 13- My Opinion About my Body and how Comfortable I am with it

My candid opinion? I think I am fabulous!

Being a plus size, I have always been self conscious about myself. I know I am beautiful, and people  tell me always that I have a great body. However, I think I will totally believe them if I can shed just a little bit of weight.

I like myself the way I am but honestly think and know the right thing to do. I have started going down a bit and believe me its’ not an easy task at all ( I can liken it to going down a mountain with stilettos). It’s that easy. To think that packing on the pounds is as easy as “ABC”.

Am I comfortable? My answer is no.

However, I will ask myself the question this challenge didn’t ask- Am I confident? My answer is YES!

The 30 Day Challenge: Day 12- Five Guys I find Attractive

Disclaimer

Because I find them attractive doesn’t mean anything. I just think they look “very nice” and if you happen to read this post and think otherwise, then I must say you are resting your back on okada.

Now to the post!

1.  Anthony O.
2. Odunayo B.
3. Kunle B.
4. Enobong I.
5. Damilola I. ( I couldn’t resist adding his name...)

By the way, Attractiveness- the degree to which a person's physical traits are regarded as aesthetically pleasing or beautiful- I just had to google it!

The 30 Day Challenge: Day 11 - My Family

I have the best family anyone can wish for.

From my dad right down to my baby brother, I love every one of them. We are closer than you will believe and still manage to live our individual lives. We stand by each other every time and God is the focal point in the tapestry of our lives.

A lot of people have told me that the love the unity of my family- we stand united always.

This is not to say that we are perfect, but that we try. Sometimes, I feel that they tend to “love too much”. At those points, I sincerely wish they didn’t have to and that they will just let me be. That never happens, and I get on with my life.

I come from a family of 10, and I thank God for making them a part of my world every single day!!! 

The 30 Day Challenge: Day 10- The 1st Ten Songs on My Play List

The 1^st ten songs on my playlist are:

1. Unwritten-  Natasha Beddingfield- It happens to be my best song too)
2. Someone Like you – Adele
3. Deeper – Darwin Hobbs
4. Come Fill our Hearts – Sinach
5. Lights on – Emjay
6. Sisi Eko – Darey
7. Where I belong- Jaci Velasquez
8. Better Place- Cece Winans
9. Grace- Bebe and Cece Winans
10. The Dance- Bebe Winans & Dave Koz

The 30 Day Challenge: Day 9- How Important I think Education is

I think education is very important. It opens a lot of doors and creates pathways. it has a way of refining one's ideas and thoughts.

People may argue that it is not so important, and site examples of several business moguls who dropped out of school and are very successful. I agree, but I want to stress here that those people had to employ people who “finished” their education to manage their business and support their organization in different capacities. Imagine a world without bankers, accountants, financial analysts, lawyers, doctors, pharmacists, teachers and what have you…our ideas will be crude.

So the main man may not have had need for education, but he definitely needs the educated to make sound decisions with him.

The 30 Day Challenge- Day 8: What I ate Today

I initially had created this post on the 13th of March, and scheduled it for publishing by 5pm today. But I had a change of heart.

For breakfast, I had beans and plaintain, but i couldnt eat it because it had some particles. I ended up eating the plaintain and beef only.

For Lunch, I had butcher rice from spaghetti with meat balls and Chicken. Yes, it was delicious and i cleaned my plate :)

I haven’t had dinner yet and I doubt I will because I need my stomach to be flat (wink). However, if I am really hungry when I get home, I will either feast on mangoes or take a bowl of cereal. The latter sounds more fun though.

Hope you had a decent meal today?

The 30 Day Challenge List

I am putting up the List for the benefit of those who asked about it. Please feel free to take up the challenge!!!

Enjoy!!!

There are many different challenges, but I particularly liked this one.

There is also the "award" you put up upon completion. I have seen many different ones as well, and love this one-
Can't wait to put up the award on my blog!!!

The 30 Day Challenge: Day 7- Five Pet Peeves

Hmn…Should I be truthful? Or diplomatic? I guess I will stick with the truth…

I sincerely, honestly and totally hate it when people touch me. If you need to talk to me, don’t touch me, use your mouth to talk. If you have to grab my attention, call my name. or better still make noise, I will react well enough, just ask my sister. I seriously don’t understand why you have to touch. The other day, I went passed through Obalende on my way home. I was struggling to walk through the throng of people when someone grabbed my arm. I kept walking because I assumed it was the Ibo boys trying to advertise their wares. And the person kept tugging at my arm. I came to a halt instantly to harass the person. I faced him and he said “hi, don’t you remember me”? I couldn’t believe it. Do I know you? He said he had seen me sometimes last year and he wanted to get to know me then, but I told him off (he had the nerve to say maybe I was angry or something). So I asked him if that meant I knew him,  and he said he was hoping I’d tell him my name…(sorry dude, not in this life).

Another one is people spit on the floor. For the life of me, I can’t understand that one. Its seriously disgusting. Click here to read about a post on spitting.

I sincerely dislike it when people talk a lot and hardly make sense.  Seriously, I lose respect for people who “yarn”, especially if they are men.

Making noise in the office is something I doubt I will ever get used to. Its’ good to have this jovial air and familiarity in the office from time to time, but I sincerely hate noise in the office.  Probably because it slows me down a bit, I don’t know, but I just don’t like it at all.

I hate seeing under-age school children (2-10) on the streets all by themselves. You will think they are “surplus to requirement” in their homes. Parents should not neglect the important things in life and focus on getting all the money. What will happen after you have finally “hit it big” and you have no one to spend it on?

The 30 Day Challenge- My View on Mainstream Music

Thanks a lot to all who encouraged me (massive blog hug- well, now there’s something like that;) straight from my heart) to go ahead and complete the challenge. It really meant a lot to me. For those of you who didn’t know what it was about, here’s a picture of the 30 day challenge. Please feel free to embark on this interesting journey. (I hope I finish before you sha)

To be frank, I had to Google “mainstream music” to be sure I got it right. Wikipedia says it is “music denotes music that is familiar and nonthreatening to the masses, e.g. popular music, pop, rap, rock...”I will focus on the Nigerian Music as it is today.

I laughed when I saw the challenge - My views on Mainstream music- and I went "Views ke"? I am not sure I have a view jare, but I thought, why not? So here goes!

Frankly, I don’t know so many Nigerian songs…In fact listening to music is something I hardly do, and the few songs I have on my play list must be complaining to God by now because I put them on repeat ALL THE TIME. Anyway, back to the topic. Personally, I think some Nigerian artistes make a lot of noise. There are so many of them, and believe me, its good to follow your dreams every time, but just make sure you have a good producer and all that. There are also a lot of them that make sense in their songs. 

That said, I believe there are many fantastic songs too, one song I love so much even though I don’t know the meaning is “Ara” by Byrmo. The beat just gets me always... (now humming it in my head) and the funny thing is I only know the refrain.lol

Another song that trips me is “That Stupid song” by Bez and Praiz. I love love love it.

My view on mainstream music…ok

Happy Women's Day

  A happy celebration to all the women in the world- Black, white, yellow or red...We are so blessed!!!


More Womens Day

The 30 Day Challenge (#Covers face)

I am terribly ashamed of myself!!!

I have been known to complete tasks and I can't seem to "untangle" my fingers to get this ish done...

Big shame!!!

Well, by hook or by crook, I will get his done. So help me God!

Why am I still wasting time here...

The Banking Tsunami: Effects on the Economy

In 2010, I was downsized by Oceanic Bank. They called it the "Oceanic Tsunami". It was a very big blow. I had  worked with them for almost 2 years, and I can tell you by myself that I worked hard. But somehow, my name was on that "black list". I honestly can't explain how I felt, because I still don't understand my feeling at that point. In a cloud, I cried because I felt that I had somehow I had "failed". How do you explain the fact that it was just 2 of us in a whole branch? I really felt bad because I knew how long it took me to get the job. (omo, no be small tin ooo), and then overnight, poof, the job developed wings and flew away. I just told God to deal with it. (thank God for family and friends- that's another story by the way) Exactly one month after that, I got another job.

This week, I heard that a second Tsunami had occurred. I know a lot of people who got affected, and I may understand a bit of what it is they are going through right now. It's not funny at all. Many of them have families... and I'm not talking about Oceanic alone, but also people who got downsized in other banks as well.

Now, what I really want to say is this, be careful to remember people when the going is good, because life is a circle...one minute its one side and the other minute, its the other side. Most times bankers are too busy being bankers to really have a life. Its really not their fault, but sometimes they get carried away. Yesterday, I got a call from someone I used to work with, telling me he needed a job and asking how I got my job after I was downsized. I politely told him I submitted my CV to job search sites, recruitment agencies and what have you and wished him luck. Suddenly, my chats with some people has increased as well. 

Before I got my job, the impression I had of some of my former colleagues was that I wasn't trying hard enough. They probably felt I was just crossing my arms. I don't blame them anyway. I felt that way about someone too when he was job hunting. 

1Cor 10:12 says be careful when you think you are standing firm, that you don't fall. That's something we all need to take seriously. 

Please help people if you know you can and don't judge, because you'll never know when the unfavourable circle of life will revolve... #just saying.

To those affected, I want to tell you that "everything good will come, just hold on to the one you call God and look deep inwards...its an opportunity to do what you really love. I know because I was once in your shoes. Just be determined and you will succeed.

Now another thing I want to talk about is the effect this Tsunami (not just the Banking Industry) this will have on the economy. Already, standard of living in Nigeria is low. There are so many unemployed people who have families and look to the employed to feed daily. With the number of people out of jobs on the increase, tell me how individuals and families will survive. The other day I heard of a girl (she had been laid off earlier) whose husband was laid off. Where do they go to from here?

I sincerely hope the government has a plan, because a massive wave of revolution is on its way right now. The  rate at which robberies occur this days is quite alarming. And you guessed right. Graduates are fast becoming thieves to "survive". The other day, I was in a bus and the conductor was "spreeing". I felt so sad. He just had to survive. Now more people with certificates are on the streets... We keep hearing the government say they will create jobs, if that doesn't happen soon, I fear that #occupy Nigeria will be child's play compared to what will come up. There are unemployed youths everywhere, and we know what idleness does...

God save Nigeria!!!

True lies

Source 

Do you sometimes catch yourself telling a lie? Like you just blurt it and wish you had just zipped your mouth instead? What do you do then, when the lie is out? Pop it back into your mouth? Bite yourself? Tell the truth? Or tell another lie to cover that one?

To lie is to hold something which one knows is not the whole truth to be the whole truth, intentionally (Wikipedia). So, a lie (white, red, purple, green-whatever colour you chose to use to coat it-) is still a lie.

I went visiting with a friend. The house we went to was untidy and very dusty, and I remember saying "your house is lovely", when my head was screaming, clean up already. WHY did I lie? I could have just shut my mouth, but I "had" to comment as it was my first time there. I probably felt it the "right" thing to do.

You do it sometimes too, when you tell someone you like her hair, when you really don't. Or when you tell that hot chic "I love your dress", when you don't but know its a new one, and feel obligated to compliment. Sometimes, I think its just natural to compliment new things not because we like them, but because they are new. Or is it because we also like to be complimented when we try something new fashion wise? I wonder...

Now-a-days, its the GSM lie..."there's so much traffic", "I'm almost there", "I am in Lagos" when actually you are in Abuja, "I'm at a meeting" when you are hanging out with your friends.

I Saw someone's DP the other day and was like thank God for modern days. I thought the picture was an old one probably taken when she was still in school. Then I saw her 2 days later and she had that hairstyle on her head. It was so "in your face" (to me anyway) but I saw that she really liked it and kept patting her hair. Almost commanding me to comment. I honestly didn't want to lie, so I said something like, "hmn, chic, this your hair na die" and she started preening. I was so glad I didn't actually lie.

I am not saying I don't "lie" because I know it would hurt me real bad if I put on something and feel really fly someone tells me I look horrible. But I guess at that point, you really don't need to make me feel bad. If you must say something, just say something to indicate that you have "noticed" it. ("Hmn, new dress"; "ah, you went shopping" ; "had time to go to the salon, what's this style called?", "you look different"- Whatever works for you, but don't be cruel.