It
was a perfectly wrapped ball of yarn, colorful and neat, until one tiny string
found its way out of the pack, and everything unraveled. It happened so fast. One
minute, everything was together, and the next minute, chaos abound.
I
think the most fascinating thing for me, was discovering that I didn’t really
have as many friends as I thought. My tight-knit friend circle melted like
ice-cream in the summer’s heat. I thought I was loved, was I really? Were people
merely tolerating me? Am I such a bad person? How couldn’t they see that my
world was upside down? Did I give the impression that I always had it together?
If I did, I’m sorry! I am human, I don’t have it all together! I want to scream
and yell and cry and moan. Instead, I smile and act like all is well. All is
not well right now! Look a little deeper. Ask me how I feel, not just because it’s
the thing to ask, but because you really care! See the hurt in my eyes that’s rooted
straight from my heart. Feel the pain in my soul. Bang on that shut door till I
open the door!
I
am not okay!
I
lost a part of me and I feel so low, but the world is moving on. How can the
world move on like nothing happened? Is there no one who really cares for me? Cousins,
aunties, uncles, friends? No one really wants to know what is happening?
The
part that makes me laugh always, is the fact that those I never counted as near
and dear, where the ones who stood close. How ironic! The ones I tagged “my
people” are the ones acting like strangers.
I’ve
learned a big lesson from this- never underestimate people. Never place people
in a pedestal, sometimes they don’t need to be elevated.
My
plans? Evaluate my friends list. I need people who I can rely on when I need a
shoulder to lean on. Like-minded friends who have fun when it’s time, work
smart at every opportunity and accomplish goals when set. A circle of friends
who’ve “got me” at all times!
Do
you have a circle? Who are those in it?
