The Writeventures of Emaleecious

Isn’t it funny how we give the best advice when we are not in the shoes of the person hurting? How odd is it that when we are dished the same advice we gave, we are unable to swallow it? I told Ade, my best friend, who was very disappointed about a job she applied for and didn’t get, to “wear your big girl pants and move on.” It seemed like the best thing to say at that time. We had gone through the entire process together, and after the 3 round of interviews with the “powers that be,” we had danced and thought it was a “done-deal.” It was shocking when she got that rejection letter to be honest. I cried with her—for all the hours wasted mock-interviewing, researching, and the most painful part: planning. Oh, we had spent hours dreaming about how we would spend the new salary (an extra vacation, new shoes and a “Christian Dior VIII Grand Bal Ceramic Women's Watch!”) I think that was the most painful part to her was the fact that the vacation ended before we even got tickets. Oh wel...

  How many No’s are enough? At what point is it ok? I tell myself I’m going to lose it if I get one more no. I think my heart can’t take it. I hear my blood raging within me. My ears are drumming with disbelief, eye huge from surprise? What did I just read? What?? Without my Sphygmomanometer, I already have a clear picture of the reading- 190/150 and I hear my doctor’s voice in my head-“You have to take it easy, your blood pressure is rising too fast, there’s so much medication can cover.” I shut out his voice and put a hand over my left breast, and tell my heart to calm down. Softly babe, let’s not jump to conclusions. I remember the movie 3 Idiots, and pat my heart fondly and tell it, all is well! Does my heart hear me? I think so. It take a long while, but with my minds ear (everyone says mind’s eye, I guess I’m allowed to have a mind’s ear just this once), I hear the brakes screeching to a halt. It takes a while, but we are back on track. The accelerated heartbeat gradually...

  Slowly but surely, change happens.  Just like the buds burst forth after a long winter spell, bringing rays of hope, light and warmth, surely, change will come. Each day bringing an even brighter ray of hope and the trust that everything is beautiful if given some time.  I look back now and I can't help but see it was a puzzle. If I had known it was a puzzle, would I have been more patient? I honestly don't know the answer to that.  At those very dark hours, it seemed I was all alone. Oh, there were people all around me, but not one recognized or fully understood my pain. Like the face mask distorts the face, I wore a mask around my emotions, my fears, my concerns. Of course, a slip here, a comment there, and sometimes, people will pause to ask if all was well. I'd smile and move on, of course all was well. Why wouldn't all be well? Then behind closed doors, on lonely paths, in the shower, I'd scream and shout and ask God why? The dark days- colorless. Bla...