Q2 2019

It seemed like it was just last month we were wishing each other a happy new month, listing out all new year resolutions, making promises and dreaming super grandiose dreams for ourselves this year. 

Now with a snap of our fingers, we are in the 4th month and counting. 

How did time fly by so fast? Did you really make plans or goals for 2019? How was Q1 for you?

Did you meet up? Can you rate yourself?

These are a few of the many questions I ask myself as I journey through this month of April. 

I actually didn't want my 2019 to be like my 2018. (2018 was a good year, it was the year I realized if I wanted different results, I really needed to up my game. I wrote down my goals for 2018, but I didn't list out the actionable steps to actually achieve them. So I knew what I wanted, but I didn't have clear steps to get there). I wanted to have a clear pathway and identify different routes to get there. 

This is my dedicated goal book for 2019. I refer to it constantly and use it as a guide as I chart a path in 2019 for myself. 

What did I do?

I broke down my goals into all aspects of my life:

• Spiritual - I stated the kind or relationship I wanted with Abba and the steps to attain it. It entailed more quiet times, more prayer and fasting times, word study, church activities to mention a few. 
• Financial- How much I wanted in savings by year end (how much to save each month), Investment plans and when to start, monthly contributions to family and causes.
• Physical- I stated the total weight I wanted lost, how I planned to achieve this (gym time, meal plans, portion control, the number of KGs I needed to loose, weigh-ins every 2 weeks) each month. I started a blog on the health journey (I confess, I haven't been steadfast on the blog)
• Emotional and relationship- Manage my temper, develop empathy, pray with and for people, be more deliberate about friendships (calls and visits to friends and family monthly)
• Sexual- Love me, be deliberate about my home, my relationship with my husband
• Travel -The places I wanted to go to, how i was going to go there and when, things I needed to invest in (e.g Camera), travel diaries in my blog.
• Career - Go back to school, take up more free online courses, save towards school
• Business- Have a savings plan for Leecious Groceries, establish a sales target monthly, expand, increase customer base. 
• Developmental- create a vision board, join a book club, attend summits, workshops and seminars each quarter, network, join accountability groups to ensure I remained on track.

Each month, I schemed through the aspects I needed to work on, took the actualization steps and expanded it to fit each week. This way, I am able to keep track of my daily, weekly, monthly and finally the yearly activities. 

It hasn't been a bed of roses, but I must confess It has been very rewarding. By the end of January, I knew at the tip of my fingers where I had done well and where I needed improvements. 

For instance, as part of my Spiritual goals, I had listed I wanted to attend Mid-week service with my kids each week. But this is not an easy feat I must confess, as the service time coincides with my baking time for the business. After being wrecked with guilt for a long time, I finally delivered myself and started attending church online anytime during the week This worked perfectly for me. 

Also, I found it super difficult to go to the Gym due to my very tight schedule. So it made more sense to download an App on my phone which helped me with with my exercise goals. I have come to realize now that "progress is better than perfection". As long as I get results through ethical options, then all is good!

We have just started the 2nd Quarter (Q2) for the year and there is still a lot of time to get on the right track. You can totally plan your April, May and June and the rest of the year and see it work just as you want it. All you need is be determined, write it out,place it in your face and stick to it. 

To make sure I don't get distracted by issues of life along the way, I joined an accountability group. We meet online every Saturday and talk about the past week, our accomplishments, fails and challenges and discuss our plans for the coming week. This has helped me tremendously in all phases of my life. If I start feeling lazy about any task (lol,this is normal) then I mentally remind myself about the ladies I will account to and I pick up my slack immediately. Haha, talk about being effective. 

I hope you take this new quarter goals seriously, and get achieving soon. I can't wait to hear about your successes and wins as well as your failures (Failure isn't actually a bad thing if you don't "godify" it). Together we can each push the other person towards greatness and this starts with YOU!

Cairo Diaries- March 2019

Hello April!

It's so good to see you. April is such a lovely month for me- So many birthdays- my mum, my husband, my amazing friend, another great friend and so many others I can't even count. For me April just reminds me of soft flowers and beautiful times.

Chris and I at the concluding Dinner at AUC

So, I'm sharing details of my recent trip to Cairo, Egypt. I had a week off work  to go to Cairo to attend a summit by the African Women Entrepreneurship Cooperative (AWEC).

AWEC organized a year long Business training for 200 Women all Africans (including those in Diaspora and it was a mind blowing experience.

They engaged us for a whole 12 months and taught us basic prinicples of business, took us through everything we need to know and provided us with seasoned experts who gave us everything we need just to grow our businesses FOR FREE! Yep, you got that right, it was all at no cost to us. To crown all these we gathered mid-year (in September 2018) in Kigali, Rwanda for a mid-year summit and an end of year summit again in Cairo Egypt, both times in 5 star Hotels (oh, the luxuriousness of the experience!)

AWEC Peer Group Heliodor at Dinner at AUC

With Karen on Day 1 of the Summit at AUC

For the Gram

I came, I saw, I conquered!

With Tanya (roomie from Kigali) and Rachael (Roomie at Cairo)

My paddy- Clara

So this post is basically about my Cairo trip.

I've always wanted to explore the world but I always felt I couldn't do this on my own, didn't have enough funds or was just to afraid to do this. So when this opportunity for Cairo came along, I didn't even think about it, I knew I was going to extend my trip and have fun and explore.
Funny, Egypt wasn't among my top 5 countries to visit, but i knew I was going to have fun after work of course!


Getting an Egyptian Visa was very difficult for my group of Ladies and I. It may have been because we are Nigerians, I don't even want to dwell on that, but at some point, I was exhausted with the process and secretly said I wouldn't follow through. Then, we had to all go to Abuja in person, to the Egyptian Embassy after they had held our passports for over a month. This was totally un-planned for both financially and in terms of time. I almost gave up. Then I thought, after this stress, I just can't give up now (haha, Thank you Mary Mary) packed my bags for a night out in Abuja then went for the interview. It wasn't even an interview per-say. They just wanted to see our faces and be sure we were real. We got our Visa but couldn't take our passports till the next week.
Visa acquired now time to buy tickets...I was very lucky to get an affordable ticket. Some of my friends were not so lucky and paid a very high fee. (we paid out of pocket because we planed to extend our trip. For those who were staying only the duration of the program, their tickets were booked for them- we will get reimbursed though, have no fear! They just wanted us to sort out our details ourselves so there wouldn't be any form of confusion.)
The day we finally got to travel is very memorable for me. We met with faces we had spoken with our interacted with in the last 6 months and this time we had things in common, had topics to discuss, had collaborative ideas which we could each learn from. It was a great experience that I will remember always and cherish.

The first shocker we got was the cold. It was very windy and cold but it was  delightful feeling compared to the Lagos heat which is really really hot. I'm not sure a single air conditioner was turned on all through my stay there, and I didn't even feel it.

After the intensive 2-day AWEC conference, my friends and I had booked a tour with a tour company on Egypt via one of us Cohort members so we gathered together, got on the tour bus and went on to have the time of our lives. I really don't want to talk about the tour because it was very disappointing. The tour guide was more interested in his commissions than in us ladies having a beautiful picture of the amazing landmarks, sights and sounds of Egypt.

The Sphinx guarding the Pyramids

He took us to Giza where we saw the pyramids and the Sphinx. He almost didn't want to stop for us at the Sphinx but we were having none of it. We got down very briefly, took photos from the road of the sphinx and moved on to another location. At the Pyramids, we rode the camel. This was very new to me. I had the guide record me climbing the camel and I still laugh till date. The camel ride was fun though, but I was super glad to be back on solid ground. We rode all the way into the desert and took great pictures with the pyramids on a line behind us. It was such a fantastic view.

I can touch the peak :)

I came, I saw, I conquered!

My understanding of our next stop was to stop at a place where we could view the process of the famous Egyptian Oils which have been known to have many uses as far back as the time of the Pharaohs. We didn't expect him to take us to a perfume shop (Siva Oasis) where they sold oils and scents. The oils were a bit pricey, but they lady who explained the uses to us is a great saleswoman and had us thoroughly entertained and bringing out our hard earned money to buy oils. I bought a box of 6 oils.

At Siva Oasis trying to make a decision on the oils.

Our next stop was to see the great papyrus flower which the Egyptians use to make original paper which is washable. We went to a store where they took us through the steps of making the paper from the flower and showed us the difference between the original papyrus paper and regular paper which had been dyed to look like it. It was an ahhh moment for us when she dipped the paper in water with all the colours, washed it and squeezed it and the paper didn't tear. We went through their gallery and a few ladies bought some items and we moved on.

From there we headed on to the market to buy souvenirs for our loved ones. I personally felt the items were over priced and only bought some fridge magnets. To be fair, the Egyptian currency is pretty stable compared to the Dollar  at 17 Pounds to $1. This is coming from me, a Nigerian with our Naira at $1 to N 365. and about 20 Egyptian pounds to N1. An item which is reasonably priced in pounds would have been a bit high in Naira.

As we finished shopping, we started our drive to the Nile where we would end the day with a cruise on the Nile. We had looked forward to this cruise and were super excited about it. By the time we got to the port for the cruise, the cruse ship was just returning to prepare for the last voyage for the day.
Unfortunately, a few ladies had to go back to the airport for their trip back home so they were going to miss out on the Nile cruise. They were totally upset and this was understandable.  I personally felt our guide could have planned the tour better, as we didn't get our Money's worth. Rather than go to the market, Siva Oasis and the papyrus shop, we could have gone to the Museum, the Coptic church and then made the Nile cruise before the ladies had to go back.

We kind of lost our zeal for the trip as we were cold, hungry and super tired. By the time we were halfway on the cruise, a number of the ladies had dozed off. The day was super packed and the cool breeze from the water was really soothing.
After the cruise, we hailed 3 taxis and went to look for our new hotel. As the conference was over, a couple of us had made reservation at a hotel for the rest of our stay.

When the taxi pulled up in front of the hotel, we almost didn't get down from the car as the environment looked like he had brought us to the stables. He pointed at the hotel and we saw the name boldly written, we had to get down. We approached the hotel with trepidation not knowing what to expect, what with all the horses and camels walking around lazily. To our surprise and delight, the hotel was a totally different world entirely. The hotel had a beautiful fragrance and the ambience was not just welcoming but beautiful and the hotel staff were super friendly too. Unfortunately, my friend Uche and I had to go to a sister hotel a street away to sleep as our room was still occupied.
The next day we got back to the original hotel, had breakfast, played about a bit then went to the roof top to explore only to discover to our delight that the rooftop directly overlooked the Sphinx and the pyramids. What joy!!

We went shopping, sight seeing and generally enjoying the scenery and had loads of fun. I had a great time exploring, sleeping and bonding with the new contacts-turned-friends I had made. We giggled to ourselves when we needed directions and couldn't find our way even though the directions were clearly written out...in Arabic, or when we needed to bargain for an item or when we used our phone calculators to converse in either USD or Arabic Pounds. It was a great trip and helped reinforce my thought that a girls trip would be fun, fun fun!

I look forward to my next trip with more amazing ladies!

At the Museum

Enjoying my life

At the Pyramids

With Uche, my roomie and waka partner

Photobombing Lape's shoot

Do you have any recommendation about the next country I should visit? Please share your travel experience.

Malaria or hunger?

Yesterday, my son was a bit warm to touch and acting all clingy. I decided to pay closer attention to him all day to see if we would get any surprises. By noon, he was super cranky and I had to take him to bed and lay with him for a bit till he slept off. While lying with him, I saw a friends’ whatsapp stories and she put up this hilarious picture which got me in stitches.

About an hour plus later, he woke up and was really grouchy. No high temperature, nothing was off. Usually, he drinks lots of water, but he didn’t any water so that got me a bit alarmed.

 I tried every trick I know to get him to eat because I knew he was hungry, he just kept refusing and kept crying louder. I had offered pap, cereal, fizzy drinks, ribenna, biscuits, a sandwich, rice but he was having none of it. I decided to fry some eggs because he likes to eat fried eggs. As soon as he saw me coming in with a plate, he came to me, sat down and waited for me to cut it up and opened his mouth to eat. He actually finished the 2 eggs I fried and drank some water. Before I knew it, he pointed at the plate of rice and as I fed him he gobbled it up. Then I knew the hunger was native hunger. Lol. After we were done eating, he got a spring back in his steps, danced a bit then crawled back into my laps and said “eat, eat” which means “I’m hungry”. I asked if he would take pap, he said yes. I was very surprised at how fast he swallowed each spoonful of pap. Needless to say, he finished it and that was when I knew that hunger is really a bad thing. so there was no illness or cause for alarm. 

Ryan became his usual cheerful self. Dancing, laughing and playing. It was a relief and a great way to end the day.

Indeed, sometimes it isn’t always about medications, sometimes, we need to eat properly first and then we will see that no drugs are needed.

Here’s wishing us all a fantastic and fulfilling week ahead.

#Yousmellnice and other "tinz"

Whoever said blogging was an easy job didn't tell the absolute truth!

Haha, I've been telling myself I need to come up here to the blog and put up a post, but I've not had any inspiration whatsoever. All I've had are snippets of my convos with Tey and though very entertaining, are not the stuff blog stories are made of.

So what do I write? Aside work, home and the struggle to run my business with very little time,  I don't even know where all the time goes. How then can I write?


Speaking of time, I've been trying to do a newsletter for the business but it really has been very time consuming. I'm currently using issuu (used it a lot a while back) but I'm open to new suggestions that are easier and better too. Your suggestions will be very helpful.


Meanwhile, I ventured into Twittersville the other day and I stumbled upon the #Yousmellnice trend. It's super hilarious if you ask me. The HR lady didn't have to be so uptight about it (Given, we don't know "how" he said it too). She didn't have to also go to Twitter to put that up. 
On the other hand, the interviewee didn't have to say "you smell nice". People take compliments wrongly and this is clearly the case here.

Anyway, I have learned not to say "you smell nice" anymore, if I have to give a compliment I'd rather say "your perfume smells really good" or "the perfume suits you well" and hope that the person I'm complimenting won't take it the wrong way! Haha, life really shouldn't be this complicated.

I hope your week has been very good so far? What have you been up to? Please don't go about telling people they smell nice above all else.

Shalom!

Fresh start

For you who has lost yourself loving another.

I don't know who I am anymore.  I think I have forgotten who I used to be. What I used to be...
I had always been a very confident person. Cock sure of what I wanted. I knew who I was so there was no cowering at anytime. I was vivacious and bold. Daring...but now I am a pitiable shell of what I used to be.

How did I let go of myself?  Where did I get lost? How did I become this soft blob? Where did I switch my identity? I look at my image in the mirror and what I see scares me.

When did I become that kind of woman? That woman who hates to see her body because of its many imperfections. The same imperfections I used to wink at and say "I love you regardless"? When did I cower in shame at myself? Why do I suddenly see all the warts on me? When did I start to look for validation from another?
Why do I cower in shame when he comes in and I am naked? How on earth did I get to this point? I still remember how we couldn't get our hands and eyes off each other a while back. Indeed it seems like several lifetimes right now.  Our heated lovemaking sessions. The passion that permeated our very being. The look of adoration in our eyes. We were each others drug. We needed each other to survive.
Help me understand why in God's name I would want to hide from you. I couldn't get naked enough back then.  What changed?

When did you get tired of really loving me? When did the fever of our love slowly ebb away?  When did the fire burn out?
How is it possible that you have moved on and I can't just get passed what used to be? How is it that you have moved on? How did you get over the sheer wanton love. The reckless passion. The friendship?  Was any of it real to you? What about the promises you made when we were cozy and warm?  In the heat of our love?  what happened to all of that? I can't believe our vows meant so little to you.

I have stayed too long dwelling in what used to be so much that I fear the train has left the station. I have forgotten how to live because I lived my life based on your every whim.

Today, I choose to live my life again. Like the phoenix,  I will emerge from this ashes and live my life
Goodbye to that chapter where I was gullible and needy. Maybe my need was what pushed you over the edge. I'm coming out strong. I am rising from the ashes and becoming even better than the person you knew me to be.  My heart may want what it wants but my head now rules my heart.

Today I make up my mind to be independent.  I don't need validation from anyone. A strong woman can handle the curve balls life throws at her. It may be tricky; I may get wacked many times, but it won't kill me. It will only make me stronger.

Thank you for helping me become me; for making me get back to being better than what I used to be.
But first let me tell you something. Just because loving you hurts so much doesn't mean I won't open up myself to love another. Wipe the smirk of your face. Don't think for a second that you have successfully shut down my heart to the possibility of giving or receiving love. You were just a nasty experience. And like every horrible taste left from food gone bad which has been mistakenly eaten, I will love again!

I'm going back to school.
I'm starting dance class.
I'm falling in love with me again.
I'm going to fashion school.
I'm putting my catering knowledge to good use.
I'm starting my business plan.
I'm living my life.
I'm free.
I'm me.


----------------------------

I wrote out this post 2 years ago when I was in a deep and dark place. Things were not as they seemed for a dear friend, She was hurting and I was hurting on her behalf. I never showed her this post, heck I didn't even talk to her much about what she was going through. All I did was pray for her so much and ask God to heal her. Looking back now, I realized I treated her as I would have wanted her to treat me, stay away for me to gather my thoughts and wits. All she wanted was a friend, all I did was give her space. I regret those years, I am not sure the damage of my behaviour has been fully restored, but she has a kind heart and forgave me (I hope).

If you ever get to read this sunshine, just know that I hurt too. I bled when you bled and oh baby girl it really hurt...but I'm so glad it happened. You found the real you and for this, I am super glad.

Love, light and laughter always!

So long no blog post

Wow! Its been 2 years since my last blog post here. Well, not 2 full years, but really close. 

If anyone had told me I would take a break from blogging, I would have laughed them in the face. 

For me, blogging was like a lifeline I desperately needed back when I took it up. It wasn't for fame or anything (haha, I wish I had the drive of my fellow bloggers back then), it was just a mode of release for me. I found my path and purpose through blogging...well, I like to think this. I would get lost in articles and people's posts. I found expression here, found friends, found a different time zone where I wasn't afraid of anything or anyone. 

In my blog followers, I found family. Thank you to all of you who may still see this post. Thank you for those awesome years!

I came back here for some selfish reasons though.

While life happened- (I got married, I had a baby, my work got more intense and needed more of my time, I started a business, I had more job responsibilities, I started another business, I had another baby...on and on so managing my own time was something I needed to learn all over)- deep down, I still wrote my posts in my head. I would have the first 2 paragraphs properly drafted then I would just not be able to go on. I know I still want to have an avenue to express myself and creating a new blog wasn't really very appealing. I decided to come back here remembering the great times we had together.

I know my content will change- I see life in a pretty different way now- But I'm more than ready to give it a shot.

Another reason I came back here is because I want my 2019 to be as impact driven as I can make it. I started this year with all sorts of plans and being intentional about everything is very high on that list. One of the to-do's for the year was to revamp my blog...

I honestly can't say I will be as funny, or interesting as I used to be, but I intend to try regardless of how difficult it may be. 

I also came back because of the good people (friends, family and people who reached out to me) who kept pushing me to come back. I am so humbled to think that my writing made a little part of your day back then and hope beyond hope that this new journey will be very worth your while. 

As I type, I just had a long day and a gruelling 7 hour plus of successful brainstorming sessions with my colleagues. My babies are sound asleep on this juicy hotel bed and here I am trying to keep up with my 2019 goal of blogging. I honestly want to delete that 2019 goal line conveniently, but I am a natural fighter! I do not plan to give up so easily. 

Anyway, here's a toast to a year full of great ideas, impact driven choices and of course love, laughter and light!

I love you so much.

Emaleecious!