How do you know?

My mind is everywhere. Thinking of a billion things at the same time. Some co-ordinated. Others, not so co-ordinated. I am not sure I can say for sure what it is I am thinking of per time.

I am happy I am alive and well. Glad I have a family that cares and love me. Thankful that I have a job. Appreciate the fact that I have a place to lay my head each night. Thankful that I have friends I can call and fight with (just because), laugh and cry with and share good news. Glad for that special man that makes me smile and tells me everything will be all right.

I get sad when I hear bad news. Bad News that can easily be avoided. Children dropping out of school, hawking on the streets and getting into street fights and trouble with the law when they should be playing pranks in their classes and be children. I get sad when I see the physically challenged begging on the streets. Its tough being challenged. You get to wonder why everyone else is not challenged and you are. My sister says it takes a lot of guts to rise above one's physical deformity and move on in life. I agree! Its not even easy surviving in this harsh world(survival of the fittest),talk little of being challenged. I hope to set up a camp or something to teach these people how to be independent. (So help me God)

I get mad when I hear how violent people get with people who are not strong enough to protect themselves. (Hey, go pick on someone your own size, and see how you fare). I hate bullying. I hate it when bosses pick on their subordinates just because they are in the position of authority.

I read a very sad story recently, a man murdered his wife and mother of his daughter because He was angry. What right does a man have to raise his hands to beat a woman? His wife? Mother of his child? I thought a man was made the head of a house to provide for his family? Given muscles and strength to hold, cherish and protect his woman? I assumed a man was made more patient of the two to think things out thoroughly before making decisions for the good of his family?

What happened in this man's case?

Anger is a horrible thing. I know because I used to get so angry when I was a lot younger. It took the grace of God. Am not a saint now (still get very impatient, sometimes), but I try not to let it get the better of me. You see it controls you, and if you let someone get you angry, then you have just given the person control over your whole life.

I wonder how many women put up with abusive men just because they want to "protect" what they have. Don't want to be counted among the "divorced" or "separated" women. Don't want to be "tagged" as "failed women".

How do you even know who it is you are dating, about to tie the knot with, or married to? A man's (generic usage) intentions are never written on his forehead. A man may say something and mean another. Do you google to be sure? Or keep questioning a man's actions to be sure they are genuine? Do you get the answer from friends?family? Does God tell you audibly? Or by little warning signs here and there. Through people, events, occurrences? How do you know when it is enough? When to stop hoping and pack up your bags? When to leave the bags and run for your life?

We may never know the answers to some things, but I hope and pray that we don't make mistakes that we may never even know we have committed. The questions will always be there and we may never get to find the answers on this side of heaven.