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Tuesday, September 3, 2013

3 powerful words...I am sorry

Yesterday, I left the office early I wanted to go home so I could cook. I felt I hadn't really been cooking for T (well while compared to the times when I used to have our lunch for a whole week ready by Sunday). So I stopped at the market before going home. Unfortunately I hadn't done the dishes the night before and we had guests, so I had to tackle the dishes, put my kitchen in order then start cooking. I am one of those people who cook in clean spaces only (#wink).
By the time I was ready to cook, I was already getting tired, but I thought of my plan and all my fresh veggies and I knew I had to get to work. Well, I was only able to make a small pot of Spaghetti, white rice with peas, fish stew and pancakes for his dinner. I really wanted to make sandwiches for his breakfast as well, but I just didn't have the strength to go on. I just dumped the veggies in the fridge. 
He came home while I was making the pancakes and drops a loaf of bread on the fridge. Hubby has apparently missed the sandwiches too (not made 'em in over a week). I tell him he will have to do without it and I can see his sad face. So I encourage him to make it himself, he says "ok, maybe later" but knowing him well, he wouldn't do it.

Anyway, I needed to put out this lunch bag and realized it wasn't in the usual place. I asked him if he brought it home on Friday and he said he forgot it. Here's the convo we had...
Me: So where do you want me to put your food for tomorrow?
T: Don't bother!
Me: (#Gasp!!! ) What? After cooking? Do you know I haven't sat down since I got back from work?
T: So what do you want me to do?
I just ignored him, handed him his dinner and stormed off to the room.

I couldn't be quiet about it and I went back to the parlor. Why did you say I shouldn't bother. It really hurt me. You could have at least apologized (I keep begging him to bring back his food bowls. Every time.). I was tired, but I wanted you to have a decent lunch tomorrow, the least you could do is be sympathetic to my effort. He says, but you didn't even give me time to explain. So I stand there waiting for the apology and when it doesn't come, I just go back to the room angrier than before. 
I get into bed and I see the indicator of my phone. I have messages. I catch up and see he also sent me an email to work on something for him. I hiss loudly. "Help kor, help ni". I drop my phone and go to sleep.

Fast forward it to early hours of this morning, He taps me and says good morning, hope you slept well? I'm sorry for what happened yesterday. I tell him its ok and apologized for being short-tempered.  Secretly, I'm over joyed. Getting an apology without asking for it is cool (lol). So I ask if he ended up making his sandwich, he said no. I rush to the kitchen and end up making toast for him. I pack up his lunch bag (Yes I had another cooler I could have used, I don't know why I was looking for trouble) and kissed him a good day. 

I am still smiling now. 

Truth be told, I don't know if I would have been this cheerful if he hadn't said sorry. An apology goes a long way if said sincerely. Just 3 words, and I saw myself get up, make toast at 6 am and I was almost whistling.  
It really doesn't matter if you are actually right (or wrong), if you hurt someone with your words or actions, it builds up a wall and communication is difficult. Little things get you angrier and before long, it escalates into a cold war or even a nuclear one that has really disastrous consequences not just to the parties involved, but to friends as well.
(Read what I found here  when I was trying to see how to phrase the title for this post)

Do you need to apologize to someone? Well, what are you waiting for? Make someone soften up and maybe even whistle.



  1. Hahahaha!!! I could just picture the scence in my head.
    Yep!! Those little words can move mountains.