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Sunday, December 30, 2012

What men don't get

I'll probably be told to delete this post. Chances are that I'll regret putting this up somehow, but put it up I will... for now. That's because, right now, I need to say something and here is the only medium...

I am married to a man who I'd have described as a good man, but right now, I am not in the mood to do that, so I won't bother to describe him now. Not today.

This post is not based on any theory, just my thoughts, my thoughts right now.

To the men;

1. I understand that its ok for women to rub your ego's and treat you like kings at all times.

We apologize when we go wrong, or when we err. How hard can it be for you to apologize? A simple apology can do a lot. Avoid wars, mend walls, heal wounds. But your pride always gets in the way, doesn't it? Just so you know..."Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.." You really don't want to see the fury a scorned woman can unleash. Seriously.

2. Its alright to make promises.

Promises you have no intention of keeping. "We will have date nights every week", "we will have hotel weekends every once in a while", "I'll treat you right", "we will...", "I will..." and on and on the list goes, then you get married, and the poor chick is hit with reality. She thinks she married the wrong dude cuz he's body is the same but his attitude says something else. She thought she married prince charming, but realizes a lil too late that he's actually Sherlock. Dude, you will have broken her heart and created a monster and not even realize it. Then you wonder why she has "suddenly changed" and you begin to complain.

3. Wooing a woman is like a project.

You just have to reach the "project completion" stage then you sit back in satisfaction. You do all it takes to make sure you get the chick. You take your time, wine and dine with her at all times, spoil her silly till she forgets every single evil done to her by other men in her dating history. You make sure that even in a coma, she can identify you as the love of her life. Then when she agrees to marry you, your enter "stage 2". You get busy preparing for the wedding. A different side of you surfaces, but she is too busy preparing and planning to notice. When she notices, she remembers why she loves you and thinks its probably the stress getting to you. And she ignores the red flag. She attributes it to the stress of planning. "After all, everyone says we will fight during this stage"
Then the marriage occurs. Project has been completed.
Bam!!! You move on to the next project. That can be anything, maybe acquiring a house, or whatever grabs your fantasy.
What happens to the time you invested in that relationship? If you are not careful, a stranger will live in the nest you created!!! A word is enough for the wise.

4. Mummy's boy

A woman married a man and not a boy. So get that into your head!!!
If she wanted to marry a boy, she might as well have married the 17 year old hunk who always hit on her in her hood. But she chose you, and yet you make her wonder if she "didn't know any better".
Why do you keep running to your mum for advice? Did she marry your mum?
Not saying there is anything wrong in motherly advice, but if you keep doing that all the time, then you are using your own hands to dissolve each cement block you have both built over time.
Be a man!!! Make your own decisions (with your wife's input of course). Live with he responsibility of the consequences of your own actions, no matter how it turns out. Its your home!
Enough said.

5. Bully

You realized that your wife is not as strong as you in every sense of it and you use that to your advantage.
Apparently, you were picked on by the boys while growing up. You had no one, not even your kid brother, to pour out your frustrations on, so you decided to live out the memories on your poor wife whom you declared to love.
No, you don't beat her, you are more than that. What you do is just to ruffle her feathers. You show her who is boss by your words... and actions.
You are an emotional bully. Your words to her burn hotter than the "Miago pepper", your actions scald hotter than heated oil. The words you don't speak sear her soul and drive the knife deeper and deeper. She is a shadow of her former boisterous self. She lives constantly in the fear of your venom.
My advice to you? Pick on someone your own size. When she hits her back to the wall and sees there isn't any more room, I assure you she will bounce back. But don't wait for that time... A mad woman is capable of anything at all, and trust me, it won't be pretty!

I best be on my way now... I have said all I wanted to say.

To the women, don't think you have actually escaped yet...

Many apologies for the "cobwebs" on my blog. I'll hide under the excuse of "work" this time.


  1. First of all compliments of the season...Happy new Year in advance.

    Now, I hope the husband is not responsible for this thing I know is that men just can never get everything there is about women...I guess I cannot say much about this experience since I am not married.

    1. Hello love, compliments of the season to you. (I lost my manners for a bit). Here's wishing you a fruitful new year in avance.
      No, not at all. I have been hearing so many things from people and I just needed to tell them indirectly. (Still too chicken to face them and say it as it really doesn't concern me)
      Haba, you don't have to be married to give advice na.

  2. Na true you talk. But I'm not a fan of 'ojoro'; what is good for baba sikira is also good for Iya sikira. I feel that your next post should tackle the wives angle - there are complains there also.

  3. I agree. That's why I said the ladies shouldn't think they have escaped yet.
    Thanks for stopping by, and compliments of the season to you!
    Btw, love the way you "Nigerianized" the goose and gander to Baba and Iya Sikira. #ThumbsUp

  4. Hey sis, happy holidays to you and a fruitful new year in advance.
    Hell really has no fury like a woman scorned for real... thank God this post is not about you cos like seriously, i got worried with the opening paragraph. I believe all is well with you and the fam.
    We wait for the verdict on the ladies, best wishes to you dear.

  5. Compliments of the season dear.

    Now this is some deep ish...I hope the men will read this.I'm waiting for "what women don't get"

  6. Thanks a lot sweetheart. I wish you same.
    To be honest, I'm actually waiting for the women's version as well. Lol!

  7. Replies
    1. Thank you Didi, I wish you same and much more.

  8. Omo see vex o. No man should even try you now. You are on serious fire, lol.

  9. Lol!!!
    I dey vex seriously! Some men are beginning to loose focus jare.

  10. Well done Ema!

    Compliments of the season.

    1. Thank you so much sweety. I appreciate.
      Compliments to you as well to you amd all yours.

  11. This post resonates ehn! Loool. Like, every woman goes through this phase. I have a post that's been sitting in my draft for yonks. Maybe this is the time to post it!

  12. i feel this post babe, life and it's stages, happy new year!

    1. Thank you so much Ma'am. And a fantastic new year to you too!

  13. my dahling! how you doing dear? I am glad this post isn't about you cos like seriously, was beginning to get worried.

    Happy new year dearie and waiting to read on the ladies! best wishes and more.

    1. I am doing great my dear, tnk u. Is it just me? Or did you really put up this comment on Sunday morning? I saw a notification on my phone, but it never made it here till yesterday.

      No, its not about me. I just put this up based on observation...
      I'll put up the bit on the ladies tomorrow By God's Grace.
      I wish you an amazing new year too!

  14. Hahaha. You have a string of points here! I hope the concerned parties get the message.

    Happy new year, Ema!

    1. Happy new year Imisi...its been a really long time. How have you been?

      I sincerely hope they do as well. :)

  15. I totally agree with this post! you just captured my thoughts and penned it nicely.