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Monday, May 16, 2011

Chief Judge

We stand in lofty positions and point fingers. Call it whatever you like, we have become judges in this world.
We know better, we know it all. We have better ways of doing it. We know just how to make it work.
We have such grand solutions.
We smirk, we sneer, we roll our eyes. We are far removed from the reality that people face.
We see a phase and we summarize the whole situation.

We judged her to be mad. Laughing at her whenever we saw her in her many colors. Her clothes always looked like hand-me-downs. Her shoes were funny and certainly did not belong in these times. Her bags were always tattered. Her make-up was garish and very scary. she walked to call your attention, swaying her little hips and speaking loudly to herself. She was not in the least bit ashamed of her appearance.
We laughed when we saw her. Her clothes, her shoes, her swagger, and most of all, her attitude.
She did not care, but did as she pleased.
I certainly wondered if she had a mirror at home. Did she not have a 'kind neighbor' who could tell her 'no'? Family members? Husband? boyfriend?
I judged her and categorized her as 'mad'

We judged him to be useless. Every morning, when going to work, we would see him with his morning cup of 'tea' only it wasn't in a cup. It was in a green bottle. We secretly wondered if he had no sense of shame. Drinking so early when people were rushing to go to work. To earn a living. He just sat there, starring at nothing, looking so sober and lost in his world. He wasn't loud. Didn't fight with anyone. As a matter of fact, he barely spoke to anyone. He just sat there, finished his 'tea', stood up and left after 10 minutes. Like clockwork. Every day, it was the same routine.
I judged him and categorized him as 'useless'

We judged her to be a whore. With her scanty clothes, always standing at the street corner. Not really in the shadows, and not really in the open. She would stare at you and wait for you to call her. Men or women, she really didn't care. All she wanted was some Naira in her pocket. She would take anyone who approached her to a shack she had created and made her home. She took all insults that were hurled at her with a shrug. She never really said anything to anyone. She was always a loner. We wondered where her family was. She was a pretty girl and young too. Surely, she shouldn't do such a job to earn a living. In the cold, she would stand and wait for a body to keep her warm. In the heat, she would stand and wait for anyone who had some change to spare. As far as we were concerned, she did not need redemption. She was fine the way she was.
We  judged her and categorized her as 'a whore'

If we had been so perfect we would have found out, had we asked, that She wasn't mad. She just had issues that had weighed her down so much that she couldn't function properly. Her husband not only abandoned her for another woman, but took their three kids and vanished. She had 3 kids but did not even know if they were alive!!!.
If we had just asked him why he sat down day by day with his 'cup', we would have learned that he was swindled of his business and his house. His wife left him when they were kicked out for his tenant.
If we had just asked her why she chose to do what she did everyday, rather than do something more dignifying, we might have learned that she never went to school and that her step mother, and every other person she had ever know had told her that all she could ever do in life was warm a man's bed as she would never amount to anything in this life.

If only she were re-united with her family, life would have more meaning to her...
If only he were able to remove the memory of his wife abandoning ship...
If only she could be trained and given a re-orientation...

Yet, we have judged them and found them GUILTY!!!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Free to be me

This is my story and my song.
This is what i know and believe.
Once, I was given choices by people, not to do as i pleased but as they pleased.
They thought for me
dressed me up
Ate for me and chose my food
They even slept for me
Not once did I know i had a choice
A choice to be free to be me
Free to dance and forget that I really couldn't because I had '2-left-feet'
Free to think as a rational human being that I am
Free to laugh just because
Free to sing and make my own music
Today I am hopeful that there is a way out
It may be hard but
I want to feel the rain on my own skin because no one else should feel it for me
I want to speak the words on my own lips, no one else should say what they think is on my mind
I want to live my life like I think is best
Life is so short. If you live mine for me, who will live yours for you?

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

How my day went

What a day! I don’t even know where to start from in my narration. Was it bad? Was it worse than bad? Or should I be grateful that through it all, I am alive, although hassled, but well?

Maybe I should narrate how my day went to you…

I woke up suddenly by 7:45am on a Monday morning. I bet the alarm went off in my head because; I checked my phone and saw that the screen was blank. I was surprised as I had plugged my phone to charge the battery just before I slept the night before. I looked up and realized that the socket hadn’t been turned on.

I rushed out of bed in a hurry and stepped on my nephews upturned box of Legos. I yelped in pain and as I jumped on the good foot, I bumped into the wall. There was no need to yelp anymore, I just swallowed the pain and gingerly walked out of my room.

I got into the bathroom, scrubbed myself and turned on the shower to rinse out to soap and leave the bathroom. Alas, the water had run out with soap all over my face. I blindly tried to grab my towel to wipe the soap from my face. In the process, I knocked down all my bottles and jars of “Clinique” and “clean & clear”. I was horrified. I finally wiped my face and was able to get water to rinse out my body.

I tried to put on my clothes and realized that my favorite Hawes & Curtis Shirt had been burned by my drycleaner and neatly folded. I was so mad, and promised myself that I would buy myself another one from his salary. I grabbed anothershirt and picked up my shoes and bag and headed for my car, praying that the road would be free from traffic for my sake.

I got into the car and when I tried to pull out; I noticed I had a flat tire. I almost cried in exasperation. Could anything possibly go worse? I asked no one in particular. I got out put all my things together and tried to hail a cab. I was successful and smiled to myself (thinking the day might just go well after all).

We started our journey with all the traffic and suddenly the taxi started jerking and spluttering. I rolled my eyes in annoyance. The taxi man came out and started tinkering with all sorts behind his bonnet. Because I was running out of very precious time, I decided to ditch him and find an alternative means of transportation.

I got my desire a few minutes after when a bus came my way. I hurriedly made my way towards it and to my surprise, I found myself being pushed from different sides. I moved aside and saw that the people who were pushing were trying to get into the same bus. I didn’t wait to see what would happen, the animal in me surfaced. I pushed and clawed my way into the bus. I got in and sat down happily when I noticed that that my right sleeve was not only torn but had a dirty palm print on it. How was I going to go to get to the office this way? And on a Monday morning too? I was so upset, that I dint even know when I got down from the bus. I only realized I had alighted when one girl squeezed past me. I rolled my eyes at her and hissed from the depth of my being. (That made me feel good). However I still had to get to the office.

Standing at the bus stop, I pondered on my next move and at that instance, a bike came to where I was standing. The bike man smiled at me. I glared at him in return. He said “madam, where you dey go?” I suddenly realized that he just might be an angel in disguise. I told him where my office was located in Festac, we agreed on a price and I hopped on. The ride was going smoothly until we reached a portion of the road that was being constructed. I paid no attention to the road until a 2011 “Muscle”(Toyota Camry) splashed muddy water on me. I shrieked till all I could see was the brake lights of the car. I had admired the car before now, and all I felt at this point was hatred.

I finally got to my office and the gate man had the nerve to ask me “shuo, madam wetin happen? Na fight? I hissed at him and went into the office. Only to be greeted by my boss at the door. “Where have you been? Do you realize we have a meeting for 8:30 this morning and it’s already 8:15?” I stutter and say that I wasn’t informed. He doesn’t listen and tells me that I would be presenting at the meeting and had better be prepared. I nod my head and tell him I will be ready by then. He walks off muttering that I had better go get myself a shirt before the meeting.

I borrow a colleagues jacket to hide my "sins" and put on my shoes. I practice my smile and walk towards my boss’s office. He looks up in relief that my torn shirt has been covered. Together we walk towards the conference room for the meeting at which I was expected to make a presentation. As soon as I took a step into the room, the heel of my 5’ shoe broke.

Needless to say, I burst into tears and ran out of the room. It was all too much for me.

Please tell me, how did your own day go?