Respecting me

Hi,

Its been almost a month since my last post. What have you been up to in this period? So much has happened to me and even though I want to share, I am constrained to hold on till I get the final picture. So I will put it up here when its ready for consumption. :)

My blog post today is about respect. So many people demand it. Respect is not something to be demanded from someone. Once it is demanded it is no longer respect but more of coercion. Trust me, I had to go to Wiki to get the true meaning. Wiki says:

"Respect is a positive feeling of esteem or deference for a person or other entity (such as a nation or a religion), and also specific actions and conduct representative of that esteem....Respect can be both given and/or received. Depending on an individual's cultural reference frame, respect can be something that is earned. Respect is often thought of as earned or built over time."

I brought this up here for a reason. You can't be in a position of authority and shirk the corresponding responsibility. It goes hand in hand. If you are old enough to wear a crown, you have a huge load of responsibility on your shoulder, and trust me, you have to bear it. If you are a baby, all you need to do is to survive( eat, sleep), stay cute and keep gurgling and you will be "awwed" and "ahhed" over. Don't expect to be in a position that requires people to entrust you with certain decisions and then you decide to act like a baby without a care in the world. You will not only loose the respect of your followers and delegation, but also fall fast like a pack of cards. No one (even followers) likes to be associated with someone or anyone who lacks respect.

"Respect can be both given and/or received". Growing up, I heard this term a lot- "Respect is reciprocal" and although I didn't really understand it, I was very quick to use it on a few of my seniors when I thought they didn't respect me enough and were demanding it of me. Thank God they didn't break my head. 

I know that if you want to be respected naturally, then it wont take a single thing from you to give and/or show respect to whoever you are dealing with. Are you a person in a position of authority? Do you respect people- those above you? your colleagues and peers? Your subordinates? Do these people respect you too? Check yourself. You are as good as what you get!

If it happens that you respect people and they do not respect you in return, check yourself as well. It may be that your authority-responsibility ratio is very low or that you need to work on your charisma and your personal attributes.

"Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners." -- Laurence Sterne

"Respect is often thought of as earned or built over time." If no one respects you currently, don't despair. Its not too late. Its something that is built over time even though you have to earn it piece by piece. It may take a while (Rome wasn't built in a day after all) but it will happen. Just make sure you put a few things in place*** such as:

• Be good at what you do. I think it will be hard to respect a boss who barks orders and once faced with the opportunity, can't do half of what his subordinates do. Be good at the job. As a matter of fact, be the "best" person on the job. 
• Treat yourself with respect. If you do not respect your self, no one else will. Charity they say begins from home.
• Stand up for your subordinates when they are right. Don't let your followers face the shark alone while you cower behind in fear. If they get out of it, they will never respect you. If they don't get out of the mess, every other person knows that you did nothing when you could have saved them. It not just tarnishes your image, it sends the wrong vibe in the organization too.
• Stand up for your self. Don't join the band wagon when you know what is right or wrong. Speak for your self.
• Be a role model
• Be open to criticism. Handle criticism gracefully and turn all negative feedback into something positive you can identify with.
• Practise what you preach. Let your leadership be about "Do as I say and do" 

"Building a culture of respect begins with respect, and it begins with you. Are you ready to step up?"- Doug Dickerson

***Credits to Celestine Chua of Personal Excellence