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When God says " No " to others its not nearly as painful as when it hits close to home. Its so easy to tell someone "God knows best" when it doesn't directly affect us.
But believe me, it hurts like hell when that "No" or "Not yet" is directed at us.
It hurts like hell.
Just yesterday' I told my friend "it is well, lets leave it in God's hands because we cant do anything about it anyway!" Today I asked God why He did what he did. And my answer came instantly. In my own voice. In my own words. Haunting me. - Not one Christian wants to be in Job's shoes even though we all want the blessings attached. No matter how much the story( Read the entire book of Jobs) teaches us to be steadfast in our walk with God, no one wants to be Job willingly.
I also remember saying our life is like a puzzle just fresh out of the box. It's everything but organized. No matter how perfect the picture on the box, we still need putting together- one piece at a time. The difference between our lives and the puzzle is this- only God has the entire picture. We are just the pieces. We can't arrange ourselves or put ourselves in order till He helps us. The only assurance we have is that He will never mismanage or mis-organize our lives. That is our only hope! If we do not hold unto that fact, we would run mad, because on our own we are nothing and can do nothing.
The final thing I remember vividly saying is- God wouldn't give any of us more than we can handle. Imagine giving a three year old a laptop bag with 4 laptops in it to carry. That's not a very smart thing to do right? First off its way to much load for a kid that age to bear. Secondly, its way too fragile...the list is endless. Its the same way God wouldn't allow us carry more than He knows we can bear. Now imagine giving the same bag to a teenager. That makes more sense because we know logically the teenager is capable of carrying it even though it might be heavy. Its the same thing with us. It may be heavy and may involve us panting, pushing and shoving, but we are still able to bear it. Thats what He gives us grace for.
Now I remembered all I said yesterday and all I could do was cry. Knowing that God is in charge only makes me feel a teeny weeny bit better. It hasn't taken away the sting of what has happened, but it sure makes me know that this blip means something in the bigger picture. That perfect picture I look forward to seeing.
Although weeping may endure for the night and cause us to ache and hurt like hell, our joy will come in the morning when God will turn around the captivity. Then our mouths will be filled with laughter and our tongues with singing. Then those who don't know our God will say amongst themselves that Our God has indeed done great things for us! Although right now we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we are not afraid because God is with us, holding our hands, carrying us through the hot fiery furnace. He promised that not a hair on our heads will be singed.
I choose to trust you Lord and hold unto the promises you made because I know that you are God and not man.
